By profession, I am a psychologist. Another psychologist recommended that I read Arnchild Lauven’s book. And I, as a specialist, belong to that category of professionals who believe that there are no former schizophrenics. Learning about a book written by a psychologist who overcame schizophrenia—I was already thrilled! For some reason, just this information alone inspired my trust, and I eagerly dove into reading this work.
There were three things I was primarily interested in:
1) how the author would describe the onset of the illness,
2) the thoughts, feelings, and experiences during psychoses,
3) and, of course, most importantly, the path to recovery and overcoming the illness.
The beginning of the book really appealed to me: the initial stage of the illness is described very interestingly—all those drawings of dragons, diaries, reflections like “is this me or not, her, just X,” the appearance of the Captain, and so on.
But as soon as the narrative reached the first hospitalization, the story became increasingly dull. The fact that the text is written by someone who has experienced schizophrenia is evident in every word and sentence (which once again demonstrates that there are no former schizophrenics): the main idea of each chapter is expressed in the first two pages, followed by endless elaboration and repetition of the same thought.
I really disliked all these tedious discussions about medication, about how medical staff don’t see the person but only the diagnosis. All of this may be true, but have you ever seen someone in a psychosis? If a person is in a psychosis, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t perceive them as an individual, but heart-to-heart conversations at that moment are definitely inappropriate.
What disappointed me the most was that the so-called healing process is not just glossed over—it’s practically not described at all.
After all the described “horrors” of eating wallpaper, self-aggression, hallucinations, the solution was simply occupational/art therapy and a good psychiatrist who reinforced the work of previous psychiatrists. And of course, sheer motivation and belief in oneself.
Throughout reading this book, I had the impression that the protagonist’s schizophrenia was caused exclusively by social factors: lack of family support, loneliness. The Captain, who represents her inner voice of harsh self-demand, where could a teenager develop such demands if not from demanding parents? The book never presents a single hypothesis about the origin of the illness. I really wanted to understand how and what specifically helped her “defeat” the illness, and without a hypothesis, that’s impossible.
In general, the book left me with more questions than answers. Fine, forget about the artistic narrative, but the book is objectively “empty.” That’s exactly how I felt: it’s empty. There’s a vague outline, but the content is full of holes. The entire book could be summed up in one sentence: “I had schizophrenia, I suffered for a long time, didn’t understand what was happening to me, but then I understood and recovered”—well, I don’t believe it, I don’t believe it at all.
