I don’t know what’s wrong with my life

Good day!

It feels like my life has gone downhill since my birthday.

It was about a month and a half ago, and I really didn’t like how I spent it. I didn’t feel like the birthday girl at all—it felt like it was a celebration for others, not for me. I had been looking forward to it so much; it seemed so exciting. But after it... there was only disappointment and apathy.

And it’s been like that ever since, but now it feels even worse.

I can’t do anything without background noise. I can’t be alone with my thoughts because it feels like there are too many of them.

Everything around me feels like too much, so it’s easier to just escape from it all.

I used to be an excellent student, the best in my studies. But now, I don’t care about grades at all, even though I have a dream of getting into a certain university, which requires good results. I can only study languages—I still have some motivation for them, but everything else just doesn’t work.

I don’t want to talk to anyone, and every sound feels like ‘too much.’

Everything feels this way, and I don’t know how to deal with it.

I want to be the best at everything, but I can’t seem to achieve that right now. I want to improve my life. It feels like I’m not living the way I want to.

Everything feels so ‘wrong.’

But at the same time, I don’t even know how I *would* want to live.

I just don’t know anything anymore.

Before, at least I had some goals or dreams, but now... all those dreams seem so unattainable and huge that it feels like I’ll never reach them, so I decide not to even try.

I don’t know how I want to live, but one thing I know for sure—I don’t want to live the way I am now.