I don’t know what’s wrong with my life
It feels like my life has gone downhill since my birthday.
It was about a month and a half ago, and I really didn’t like how I spent it. I didn’t feel like the birthday girl at all—it felt like it was a celebration for others, not for me. I had been looking forward to it so much; it seemed so exciting. But after it... there was only disappointment and apathy.
And it’s been like that ever since, but now it feels even worse.
I can’t do anything without background noise. I can’t be alone with my thoughts because it feels like there are too many of them.
Everything around me feels like too much, so it’s easier to just escape from it all.
I used to be an excellent student, the best in my studies. But now, I don’t care about grades at all, even though I have a dream of getting into a certain university, which requires good results. I can only study languages—I still have some motivation for them, but everything else just doesn’t work.
I don’t want to talk to anyone, and every sound feels like ‘too much.’
Everything feels this way, and I don’t know how to deal with it.
I want to be the best at everything, but I can’t seem to achieve that right now. I want to improve my life. It feels like I’m not living the way I want to.
Everything feels so ‘wrong.’
But at the same time, I don’t even know how I *would* want to live.
I just don’t know anything anymore.
Before, at least I had some goals or dreams, but now... all those dreams seem so unattainable and huge that it feels like I’ll never reach them, so I decide not to even try.
I don’t know how I want to live, but one thing I know for sure—I don’t want to live the way I am now.
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