Dramatic series or a user manual?
Recently, I was in the mood to "cry," girls will understand (and not just girls)—it's just one way to vent my stress. To do this, I look for sad movies or series, and that's how I stumbled upon the popular Korean drama Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo (2016). Well, I got what I wanted, but I also felt a wave of outrage because the series romanticized abusive relationships. As someone who loves to share my impressions, I dove into the comments and realized that nearly 90% of people consider the main characters' relationship the most beautiful in the world. That’s when I thought I should take a closer look at this drama and explain why I found the ending sad.
Let’s start with the plot and descriptions of the main characters whose feelings develop throughout the series. Our protagonist has just ended a relationship because her boyfriend cheated on her with her best friend. She’s devastated and wants a fresh start. Fate intervenes, and she wakes up in the time of the Goryeo Dynasty (Korea). Now, she’s the niece of one of the princes’ wives. This is her chance—her opportunity to live a different life, and what a foundation (never mind that women at the time were nothing, though that’s a different story). Everything is hers: she’s young, beautiful, intelligent, and wealthy, and she becomes a favorite and friend to the princes. By the way, her name is Hae Soo, and everyone is enchanted by her—even the emperor takes notice, and all her antics are forgiven. I wish she could have stayed like that: knowing her worth and showing it to everyone.
Then we meet the same old bad boy with a tragic backstory and all sorts of psychological trauma. Wang So is the fourth prince. In his childhood, his mother slashed his face, leaving a scar he hides behind a mask, convinced the world finds it repulsive. Exiled as a child, he was treated like an animal—or worse. If you’re feeling sad, you’re a human being. So this cruel, harsh prince returns to the palace, where he meets our flower.
Hae Soo, who is kind to everyone—even those who turn away from her—gives Wang So a little warmth. Without any hint of romance, she treats him like a person, accepting him as cold and harsh as he is. Perhaps that was her mistake, because from that moment, the prince decided she belonged to him. Yes, to him—like an object, to be fully his, including her heart.
The game began, with Wang So making his moves clearly, and fate seemed to hand him opportunities. Meanwhile, Hae Soo had already fallen for someone else, but due to her low self-esteem (which others imposed on her) and distrust of men (after being betrayed once, which doesn’t excuse her behavior), she couldn’t be with him. Step by step, he made her fall for him. It was an emotional rollercoaster, and she thought it was love. He made her feel that only with him could she feel safe. Do you feel the taste of abuse yet? Closer to the end, he began isolating her from friends and family (by that point, she had none left). When he fully possessed her body and heart, our heroine opened her eyes to their relationship and realized she didn’t want this. And that’s when I started popping the champagne—she opened her eyes for me.
She may have left the relationship, but she still belonged to Wang So. Not for a day did she forget about him and always cared for him from a distance. Meanwhile, he was filled with rage at her for leaving, as if she owed him happiness after all he’d done to "make them work." As if he’d worked for free.
So the ending was disappointing for many because the main characters went through so much (some of it they created themselves) and didn’t stay together. But for me, it was sad because she never understood that he used her like a pillow when he was sad—he poured his emotions into her, verbally abused her when angry. She was the one he dumped all his emotions into, but when she wanted the same support, he wasn’t ready to give it and grew angry if she found comfort in others.
But how beautifully all of this was presented to us! Romantic music played in the background, the sets were luxurious, the actors were stunning, and everything screamed, "This is true, powerful love." At some point, I was enchanted by it—until I felt an inner unease, the source of which I realized only by the end. That’s why I wasn’t surprised by the twisted perceptions in the comments, and it’s a reminder that this isn’t love, and we shouldn’t normalize phrases like "You belong to me." Watch the dramas, cry and rejoice with the characters, but remember that not everything you see on screen is healthy.
Bonus:
Why did Hae Soo fall for Wang So, and did she have another choice? Yes, she did. She could have left at any time, but she didn’t feel strong enough. Wang So was the "perfect" candidate for Hae Soo. She had traumatic relationship experience and was searching for honesty. Wang So never lied to her—he was always honest, even in his destructive behavior. After learning about his childhood trauma, she wanted to "save" him and took responsibility for him. In doing so, she was also saving herself, seeing her purpose in this new life. She also took on this cross after losing people she loved, believing their deaths were her fault. By treating the prince kindly, she absolved herself of that guilt. So she was "abandoned," broken, and searching for strength—and she found it. And because there were good moments when they were happy and carefree, she couldn’t let go of that experience completely. That’s where a therapist would have helped, but alas, the wise people of that time only told her she was the only one who could change the prince (toxic people, what can you do).
Could Wang So have changed? Yes, he could have—through long-term therapy. Hae Soo wasn’t the right person for that. Yes, she accepted him; yes, she was willing to listen, but she wasn’t okay herself. She carried the mission of "saving" him, which isn’t therapeutic. And his focus wasn’t on changing himself, even for her—from the start, he only wanted warmth from her. Hae Soo wasn’t the only one who treated him kindly, and he dragged that person into his world too. In doing so, he compensated for years of loneliness and alienation. But instead of learning love, warmth, and compassion from these people, he was greedy and only used them. And even after being shown this, he only justified it with his painful past. He had the power to work through it, but he took the position of a victim and refused to listen to anything.
