«CAN THIS REALLY BE TRUE LOVE?» Elizabeth ponders over her relationship with John (emotionally dependent relationships through the lens of the film «9½ Weeks»)
Of course, NO, this is not love. This is how emotionally dependent relationships begin. Throughout the film, it’s clear how Elizabeth withers away before our eyes.
She: a gentle, emotional, sensitive woman who falls under influence. Her life is calm, predictable, and uneventful. She ignores her own feelings (fear, danger in contact with John), does not stand up for what she wants or doesn’t want.
He: manipulates, takes unhealthy care of Liz (brushes her hair, feeds her, dresses her). «I will wash the dishes, cook, feed you, give you drinks, dress and undress you» (to some, this may sound intriguing, but WTF, Liz can do this for herself. And does she even want that?).
If a partner treats you like a child or a doll, it’s worth paying attention to your feelings. Does this feel okay to you? Abusers often call such inappropriate behavior «care».
As for the expensive gifts from the first days of their acquaintance. You can leave a good impression without gifts. Moreover, expensive gifts do not confirm that she is dear to him; they only distract attention from his poor treatment of Liz.
His actions and games become increasingly cruel. He scatters money on the floor and forces her to crawl and pick up the bills. Liz tries to refuse, but John shouts at her and menacingly swings a whip in the air. After Liz obeys his demands, John kisses her. «Good girl» — obeyed, did as told, now you’ll get love and acceptance. This film is also about violence in relationships. How much are you willing to bend before your back breaks?
Relationships that begin with fear, control, and «I know what’s best for you» are not about healthy connections. Just remember how John chose clothes for Liz, and she only asks: «You didn’t ask if I like this».
John plays with her feelings, frightens her, enjoys her pain and fear, and then says «I was just joking». Just recall the incident after their first walk at John’s home or on the Ferris wheel. Intentionally stopping the carousel, John leaves Liz alone at the very top and goes to drink coffee while she screams in fear. Such behavior shows that John fulfills his inner need for self-affirmation through humiliating his partner.
Added to the site on 2024-01-10 at 06:45:56
