Question by:
Nickname_1e8a6
Age:
37
Distrust and jealousy - self-esteem issues after a breakup and reconciliation
My husband and I separated for a year. I took revenge on him for his poor treatment. He found a girl and fell in love. She’s young, pretty, and he pursued her like never before—bought her things, spoiled her, dreamed about her, and believed she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever met. His friends hinted that she was taking advantage of him, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to prove something to himself.
Later, we started being friends again and decided to get back together. At first, he still thought about his ex, which made me uncomfortable. It bothered me that he never spoiled me the way he did her—it didn’t feel fair. He said he had changed and understood everything now. He spoils me now—gifts, a car—and wants to get married. He wants us to take out a joint loan. He wants to protect himself so I won’t leave again.
But I don’t feel like he sees me as more beautiful or that he’s still emotionally invested in me. Yes, he says I’m the love of his life, that no matter who else was involved, he wanted a family with me. That girl didn’t want his children, and so on. Maybe he got back with me because he realized there was no future with her, but that doesn’t mean he stopped loving her or that he truly loves me more than anyone else. No, it was all a logical decision, not from the heart.
I work, I’m a mother to our children, but he really fell for her. It’s hard for me to accept. I keep looking for reassurance, but deep down, I know the truth—he fell hard for her. I want happiness too, and I want my husband to love me more than anyone else.
Later, we started being friends again and decided to get back together. At first, he still thought about his ex, which made me uncomfortable. It bothered me that he never spoiled me the way he did her—it didn’t feel fair. He said he had changed and understood everything now. He spoils me now—gifts, a car—and wants to get married. He wants us to take out a joint loan. He wants to protect himself so I won’t leave again.
But I don’t feel like he sees me as more beautiful or that he’s still emotionally invested in me. Yes, he says I’m the love of his life, that no matter who else was involved, he wanted a family with me. That girl didn’t want his children, and so on. Maybe he got back with me because he realized there was no future with her, but that doesn’t mean he stopped loving her or that he truly loves me more than anyone else. No, it was all a logical decision, not from the heart.
I work, I’m a mother to our children, but he really fell for her. It’s hard for me to accept. I keep looking for reassurance, but deep down, I know the truth—he fell hard for her. I want happiness too, and I want my husband to love me more than anyone else.
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